Enid's Place
Barenaked Fan Fics

Hey, here's where I'm gonna put any stories about the Barenaked Ladies. If you have any that you wanna put up, email me eh!


Le Ocelot Kitten | Who are the BNL? | Links I Like | Contact Me | The Infamous Bliss... | Barenaked Fan Fics | Other Fan Fics

The First One... By Le Ocelot Kitten
"Are you crazy? We can't do that! We'll get our butts thrown out of the town!!" Steve cried. It was hours before Barenaked Ladies were going to perform in Minneapolis and Ed had some ideas.
"Oh come on! They're expecting it! The worst they could do is arrest us! And even then, they'd let us go easy." Ed had wanted to start the show by he and Steve running out naked and Ed kissing Steve all over, and he did mean ALL OVER.
"Steven it's not like you guys haven't done it before. Besides, what are you afraid of? Ed being more superior than you?" Ty asked while smiling. While Ed was far larger than Steve, that's not what he was worried about.
"I know I know. It's just ah forget it. I'll tell ya what, how bout we do it in our boxers? Nothing else."
"Well it IS kind of lightweightbut if it's all you'll do"
"Yes, that is all I'll do."
"All right Steve, what's up?" Jim jumped in. "You've never acted like this before. You've never been afraid to take it all off in front of the crowd before. And don't tell me it's because of the cops because that's a bunch of crap."
"Look! I don't want to discuss it right now! I'll go out in my boxers, Ed will caress me and we'll get on with our lives. Now where's Kevin? He said he was going out for some juice and isn't back yet. I'll go find him." Steven quickly got up and left.
"Jeez Ed. What was that about? What's going on with him?" Tyler asked.
"I don't know. He's been acting strange ever since we started touring again. Maybe he misses home."
"Yeah that's possible. But why would that make him uncomfortable to strip n' kiss?"
"Maybe he's in love with you!" Jim laughed. The others chuckled but Ed thought for a moment. Nope. Can't be right.

Well the show went great. All except for when the young girl got mauled by Kraft dinner welding maniacs but she should come out of that coma any day now. After the show, everyone went to a local pub except for Steven. He went back to the hotel where they were staying. He just didn't feel like going out.
After a while, Ed began to get bored of the screaming women and Ty taking off his shirt, so he told Kevin he was going to talk to Steve. Kevin Okayed and Ed went. When he entered the room Steven was just looking out a window.
"Hey buddy. What's going on?" Ed asked in a soft voice. Steve sat up startled.
"Ohnothing. How was your night out?"
"Fine. Tyler kept taking off his shirt so I left. Are you feeling ok? You aren't acting it."
"Oh Ed. I just don't know anymore."
"About what?"
"You a-and me. I don't want us kissing or anything like that anymore."
"What? Why?!" Ed sounded so upset by it it almost surprised Steve.
"Wellpeople are starting to say things. When I called home the other day my son said that a kid at his school called me gay."
"Oh Steve they're just kids! Plus, you love your wife."
"I know but I just don't want my son getting the wrong idea. Ya know, that Uncle Ed is actually daddy's lover." Ed stayed silent. No one had brought that up in years. Steve and Ed actually did have an affair many years ago. But then Steve met Caroline and he knew that they'd have to end. But they remained friends. They had moved on. Except that when Steven and Ed would kiss on stage, it wasn't for laughs. It was to remember. They had never told anyone about their affair.
"SteveI miss you. I miss being with you. I know it's been all those years sinceyou knowbut even seeing you every day isn't enough." Ed stepped closer to Steven and kissed him passionately on the lips. Steve backed away but not too soon as to not enjoy it. Ed just looked him in the eyes.
"Ed! Why did you have to do that?! You're going to drive me crazy!"
"Don't you think I've missed you? I tried so hard not to have feelings for you but I always have. I give my life to my wife but you're my true love." Steve sighed and sat down. Thoughts of shame and confusion flooded his mind. He didn't know what to do now. Why were these feelings coming up now?
"I know how you feel. I love my wife. I love my little Hannah more than words can say. But I live a lie." Steve and Ed just looked at each other. They had no idea what to do.
"We no. I-I can't. We can't be together. Ever. They'd never understand."
"I know. And how could we desert all those people we love. I mean, it's like we have double lives. And if we tell them"
"They'll think we just lied to them." More silence. "Did you ever tell anyone you were?"
"No. I didn't know whom to tell. I thought I might be able to tell Andy but then he moved on and I just couldn't bring myself to tell Jim. Ty either."
"I told Kevin. A long time ago. When he was sick. I thought he was going to die." Steve sniffed back a tear. "I just didn't think it was fair if he died not knowing."
"Do you think he told anyone?"
"No." Steve got up and walked towards the door. "Let's go talk to Kev. Maybe he can help us."

Ed and Steve found the gang outside the pub talking to some guys. Jim looked tired and Kevin just stood but of course Tyler was the life of the party.
"Uh Kevin? Can we talk to you alone?" Steve asked quietly. He simply nodded and followed then to an alley.
"What's up guys?"
"Kevwe need some advice. We still love each other and we don't know what to do," Ed explained as Steve looked down.
"Jeez you guys. I thought that was forever ago."
"It was but we've always had feelings."
"Huh. Well I know this isn't the most appropriate time to say it but, since we're all getting relationship-y, I'm gay. And I'm in love with Ed." Ed sucked in some cold Minnesota air.
"Wow Kev. I'm flattered, really."
"You love Ed? I thought" Steve began to full on sob. Kevin went over and held him.
"Shh Steve. It's ok. You know I love you right? I know you don't want to love Ed like you do right?
"Yes. I just feel like I'm betraying my family. How can I love my wife when I'm" Steve couldn't even say it.
"Steven, you're gay. You might not want to be but you are." Ed said.
"Ed I would love to be with you, sorry Kevin, but I just can't do that to my family. But I am going to tell then what happened between us. Hopefully it'll be ok. Now Kev, please, be with Ed. He's a really great man and lover. I wish you well." Steve then quickly went over to Ed, kissed him, and walked away.
"Oh Ed. If you don't want a relationship right now, I'd understand. I love you. Even if not physical. I love Steve too but he's more like a brother."
"Oh thank you Kevin. I love you, I really do but it's going to take a bit of time to get over Steve, if I ever do. And what will happen to the band? How can we perform well when we have all this tension?"
"It's going to work out Ed, I promise. Let's not worry about it now. Right now, let's go get Ty and Jim and go back to the hotel." Ed nodded and went with Kev. Jim could sense something was wrong when Ed and Kevin arrived but didn't know what. When some screaming fans on the way home distracted Tyler, Jim cornered the two.
"All right guys, what happened? Why did you two go to Kevin all of a sudden? I'm confused."
"Ah Jim," Ed started and looked at Kevin. He nodded and Ed continued. "It's just all so hard. But here's what I'll tell you: I'm gay and so is Kevin and Steve." Ed felt a sudden surge of guilt for having outed two people but then Kevin spoke up.
"Yep, I'm gay and in love with Ed. How do you feel about that?"
"Well, not surprised for one. Oh no. Listen Ed, I'm sorry about that crack I made earlier about Steven being in love with you."
"Hey its ok buddy. But listen, don't mention any of this to Steve, he's having a really tough time right now. Just pretend nothing happened, 'k? He'll tell everyone everything when he feels it."
"Sure, no problem. Let's go. Ty! Pull up your pants dude!" Jim ran off and left Ed and Kevin to themselves.
"How do you feel now?" Ed asked while looking into Kevin's sky blue eyes.
"I think good. I thought Jim would have a freak out but he seems pretty cool. You know we don't talk much." Kevin looked back at him. Ed suddenly found himself kissing Kevin. Kevin was a strange kisser. Not like Steve but not like the others he had had either. Which weren't many. "Jeez Ed. I thought you didn't want a relationship right now!"
"I guess I just got excited." The pair walked back to the hotel in pretty much silence, except for when a couple of fans stopped them. When they reached their destination, Steve, Jim, and Tyler were already there. The two stepped into the room and received just stares.
"So you're gay huh?" Ty asked bluntly.
"Yeah I guess I am. Kevin?"
"Yep." Ty stayed silent for a moment and then hugged both Kev and Ed. They both sighed and then went over to Steven.
"Steve, I love you like a brother, and really we are brothers. Please don't let this affect our friendship," Ed pleaded.
"Oh Ed. We've been best friends since school. You really think I'd let a little thing like this break us up? Never!" Steve embraced Ed in a huge hug and then pulled in Kevin too. Ty then joined and lastly Jim and the night ended in a big Barenaked group hug. Ed went off to have a long with relationship with Kevin, which is still going strong. Ed sees his other family regularly.
Steve went back to his wife and kids. He told her about his past relationship with Ed. She accepted it and everyone went on with their lives.
Tyler lives with his wife in Toronto and regularly goes streaking with Ed, Steve, and long-time friend Bruce McCulloch, who is also his neighbour.
Jim and his brother Andy currently have the number 1 record in Canada for their project, Brothers Creeggan. Jim is still in Barenaked Ladies but does love his other success.

It Hadn't All Been Done--Until That Night By Snowy

Ed walked off the stage with the rest of BNL and went straight to their private
room backstage. He quickly undressed as did the rest of the guys, Ed sat
staring at the
floor for quite a long time until Steve spoke up to him.
"Ed? What'd ya think of the show?"
"Good show," Said Ed
"Yeah I thought that rap about us being lovers was hilarious! That was some
good shit Ed." Steve smiled at Ed, and Kevin giggled in the background.
Finally, Ed smiled. "It was great, it was a cool rap. I hope the sound-techs
got a
tape of that!" Everyone in the room laughed. After the laughing died down to
nervousness they all decided to go shower and then head back to the busses so
that they
could meet and greet with their fans.
Ed was in his shower taking care of some "manly business," and heard Steve
outside joking with Kevin about something. Beginning to eavesdrop on the
Ed momentarily stopped what he had been doing before.
"Yeah, Ed is definitely getting weird lately. Wasn't that the 4th rap in as
shows that he's hinted at the sexuality of the band. People might actually
start believing
him soon," Said Kevin to Steve.
"If those Internet folk get ear of this it'll be all over. We'll never be able
to hide it
from our wives! Why, oh WHY, must he do this?" Steve shrugged his shoulders
continued, "Then again, most of them think it's all a joke anyway. Just 'cause
married, they don't think we're gay. HA! If they only knew, if they only
knew," laughed
Little did Steve or Kev know that Ed was listening in on the conversation. Oh,
now he was pissed, it was time to tell the world the truth about the Barenaked
Eventually Steven and Kevin finished their conversation on the state of the
and Ed finally was done with his shower and 'other' stuff. They all went
outside one at a
time to talk with their fans.
"What a night," Ed Thought. He was getting asked some strange questions with
answers he didn't think strangers needed to know. He didn't think his children
needed to
know the stuff they were asking. "What kind of soap do you use?" what kind of
is that, he asked himself.
Ed was the last one out and the last one in that night, and when he went into
bus; well, he didn't think he'd ever be prepared for what he saw. There in his
little cubicle
of privacy, with the curtain drawn open, was Kevin: masturbating. It wasn't
like they
weren't grown men who got horny, heck--Ed was known to 'Doot Bap' on more than
occasion on the bus, but at least he shut the little curtain when he did! Why
was Kevin
being an exhibitionist tonight? Why was he even doing that? The shyest of the
and the most secretive of 'strange' habits, this was a serious breech of
character. Ed
figured he wasn't going to figure out an answer for this just staring at the
Kevin, although it was quite amusing, entertaining, and arousing. Did he just
think it was
arousing? OK, so he was BI, but he never had feeling for Kevin. Make that he
have feelings for Kevin, or did he?
"Yo, Kevin, wanna close the curtain there? I think I've been blinded for life.
that thing have it's own area code?" Ed laughed when he realized 'it' was much
then he assumed it to be. Or maybe he just never thought about it that much,
who knows.
"Oh man, I thought I was the last one on the bus! All the other guys are
Damn, Ed." Kevin was a bit scared and hurriedly pulled his boxers up, of course
wasn't doing it's job. Nervously, Kevin yanked the blanket over his private
parts, forming
a little tent in the sheets. "I'm sorry man, I really didn't mean to blind
"Nah it's OK... impressive package Kev!" Ed smiled and winked at Kevin, and
finally went on his way to his bunk where he remembered all those times he'd
seen Kev
naked. Flaccid, that thing was much smaller. He shook the bad thoughts out of
his head,
and laid down to sleep.
Suddenly Ed was awakened to the sound of a bunk squeaking. Personally, he
didn't think those little suckers *could* squeak, but hey more power to them.
With a start
he sat up in his bunk.
"Wait, what the fuck is going on?" Shouted Ed, and at that moment the noise
stopped. Whoever or whatever was making the sound, must not have been very
because immediately after Ed shut up, it started again.
"OK, that's it," Ed got up and started to find where the noise was coming
he crept out of his bed and up near the front. The squeak was coming from
Kevin's bunk,
Ed figured that Kevin was having one of those days, as this was a world record
masturbation for him. What Ed was about to see though, would frighten the
living day
lights out of him. There in Kevin's bunk was obviously Kevin, but not so
obvious was the
Steven Page giving the keyboardist 'head'.
"Oh, FUCKING LORD! What the hell is going on here? What is this, the 'Gay
parade'?" Ed was fuming mad, and consequently scaring the shit out of Kevin and
They stopped making out, and hurriedly dressed.
"Uhm, I'm not going to say something dumb like, 'this isn't what you think it
Yeah right, I was just making sure his privates were working right. No, it was
what you
thought Ed. I was giving him head. I am really sorry you had to see that, by
the way."
Said Steve, trying to sound smart, but not really hitting it well.
"OK, this is all gone awry. Steve, I can't believe you would do that with
Kev... I
thought you loved *me*?"
"Wow you thought that... after all those years?" Questioned Steve. Now
everything was in a shambles; Kevin was mad because he hadn't gotten off, Ed was
because Steve was giving Kev head, and Steve was just mad that Ed had to find
out like
this. "I'm sorry Ed, I truly am. I thought you were trying to get all those
ideas of us
being lovers, out of you head. I didn't know you cared for me anymore, If I'd a
known, I
wouldn't be here with Kevin, I'd be with you."
Now Kevin was pissed out of his mind.
"What?! You don't like me Steve?" Shouted Kev.
"Well.... I love you like a brother, but I always--ALWAYS--had a thing for Ed.
But, Ed and I haven't made love in close to 15 years." Said Steve
apologetically to Kevin.
"Oh I see. Dump me when the time comes, which is now!"
Ed was watching this whole thing, and a small tear came to his eye when he
realized that Steve loved him. Unfortunately, he just realized he loved Kevin
"Oh God. I'm not going to make Steve choose. Why don't we all have a big orgy
or something?" Ed hardly believed that he just said what he just said,
curiously he
scratched his head. "Wow did I just say 'orgy,' 'big' and 'we' in the same
Steve and Kev smiled, then nodded.
"Yes, I believe you did, sexy." Stated Kevin.
"All right, wait a good moment here. When did we all realize we were BI?"
Asked Ed.
"Well, I just started getting feelings for all of you after I got cancer, I was
going to
tell you when I thought I'd die. Obviously I didn't, so I never told y'all."
Kevin shrugged
his shoulders to Steve and Ed.
"Oh, Since we started hanging out all those years ago, Ed." Smiled Steve.
"Well I think I knew you were gay, we've had sex before. Once... boy was that
ever a bad idea." Kevin heard Ed's statement and gave the evil eye to Steve.
"What? I forgot!" Said Steve
The only audible sound of anger coming from Kevin was a low growl.
"Didn't know you got mad, Kevvy-poos" Ed smiled at Kev.
"Argh. I want an apology!"
"I'm sorry, Kev," Steve looked at the ground then back at Kevin who looked
rather sad. Steve sighed and went up to Kev and wrapped his arms around him.
"I really
do love you, I was just excited at the thought of getting back with Ed."
"I understand," Said Kevin, smiling. He kissed Steve on the forehead and
back, looking him in the eye. Suddenly they were both entranced and soon enough
were kissing passionately. Ed raised an eyebrow and muttered something to
"Hey!" He growled, then reconsidered, "Can I join in?"
Steve and Kevin looked up from their kissing session, and grinned at Ed.
"Sure sexy," drawled Kevin.
Ed wrapped his arms around the kissing Steve and Kevin and hugged them, they
opened up their arms and let him in to their little circle. The shy keyboardist
dropped his
naiveté and started to unbutton Steve's shirt, revealing a whole mess of curly
chest hairs,
and a chunky waist line. In return, Steve undid Kev's shirt and threw it off of
Ed stood watching, since he didn't think making out would be so fun in a
threesome. He'd sit and enjoy the show for a while until it was his own turn.
Feeling that
familiar tingle in his crotch, Ed undid his jeans to let his member have more
Passionately kissing Steve, Kev pushed him onto the bunk and began to unbutton
the singer's jeans, without a hitch his raging hard-on popped out of his pants.
Kevin softly
grabbed the penis and began running his hand up and down it while he started
kisses down Steve's chest, down to his family jewels. When Kevin got to them he
his mouth over Steve's penis and began to give him a blow job.
To Steven, Kevin was the ultimate lover. He knew exactly what to do, even
though he was brand-new to this whole man with man thing. Steve was in heaven,
didn't think he would ever come down from his cloud nine. Of course then you
have an
orgasm, and you do come down. Which is pretty much what happened, he ejaculated
Kevins mouth, and the cancer-free waif swallowed it all gracefully with a smile
on his face.
Kevin smiled at Steven, and felt arms close around his waist, the hands began
running themselves through Kev's four or five blonde-ish chest hairs. Ed lifted
Kevin off
the bed, and ran his hand over Kev, and began to kiss his neck. Every little
hair on Kev's
body stood on end in excitement at being touched by a new man. Ed came around
to face
Kev, and began kissing him passionately. Soon Ed was moving his kisses downward
he was at the button of Kev's pants, he undid the fly and teased the cock that
lay beneath.
Blowing hot air on the penis, Ed began to undo his belt and then jeans, he
removed his
boxers and slowly stood up, his penis banged into Kevins. He started to circle
around the
accordion player, he stopped while he was in back, and tipped Kev over so he
would land
with his stomach on the bed. Steve was sitting at one end of the bunk, and
eagerly waited
to see what Ed would do to Kevin.
"Kevin, I don't want to startle you... but I want you to know that I'm gonna
you from behind. Just relax. If you don't want me to do this say something
now!" Said
Ed, trying to make Kevin feel a little better.
"Ed, go ahead, I'm ready."
Ed put his hands on Kev's back and started to massage him lightly to loosen him
up. Kissing a trail down the spine in front of him, he wrapped his left hand
around Kevin's
waist and started stroking his manhood. Ed put his right hand on his own penis
to guide it
into Kevins backside. Eventually it was completely in, and Ed knew it was,
because he
heard Kevin yelp.
"You OK Kevvy?"
He nodded, and Ed started. The guitarist began pumping in and out of Kevin.
would have stimulated the keyboardists penis, but he was too busy trying to get
Kevin replaced Ed's left hand with his own, and started stroking himself while
Ed pumped
in and out of him. Ed finally finished, and saw that Kev hadn't gotten off yet,
so he
finished by giving him a handjob.
Everyone was tired now. They had all cum and were now all cuddled up in the
bunk together. Only God knows how they all fit in there, but they did.
they were still there in the morning when Tyler and Jim got up and came over to
that part
of the bus.
Ed wondered how Ty and Jim had slept through that night of orgy. Actually, he
had wished they would have discovered them, because he would have asked them to
in on the orgy.
"What the...?" Said Tyler, eyes open wide to disc like proportions. "What the
is going on here? Did you guys take that whole Barenaked part a little too
far?" Steve,
Ed, and Kevin could have cared less and instead just laid there on the bunk. Ed
his arms from the back around Kev, and started kissing his neck.
"Hey Ty," smiled Ed "I guess you caught us. We all had sex last night."
Strangely, Ed said that very matter-of-factly.
"Oh... WHAT!? You expect that to be like a normal thing."
"Hey Ty, calm down. I think they all look cute there. Especially Kevin with
sparsely hair-ed chest. Awww I need a picture of you guys together."
"Jim, you are out of your mind. The rest of you guys too! OUT OF YOUR
MIND." And so Tyler stormed off. Eventually Ty got over the whole thing and
came out
of his little shell to tell them it was OK, but that he was perfectly straight
and would never
do anything like that. If they wanted to though, it was cool.
Jim, on the other hand, ended up making love to Steve that night. That story's
next time though.

The End

#2.. By Le Ocelot Kitten
I looked over at him while he laughed. We were right in the middle of performing "If I Had A Million Dollars" and the Kraft dinner was flying. Ed had picked up a box and eaten it whole (well, minus the box). I had loved him like a brother since the first day we became friends, but recently I wanted us to be more.
"Hey Steve, what say we do a little Barenaked tradition?" he asked while slyly looking at Kevin.
"Oh which one would that be?" I retorted. I knew something was up.
"Why this one Steve!!" Ed then dropped his trousers while Kev ripped off his shirt. Ty then joined us and pulled down his pants while Jim ripped off his shorts. I just laughed and stripped off both my shirt and my khakis until I was in nothing but my boxers. The crowd went absolutely wild and I decided to be brave and pull something. I danced over to Ed and started to make out with him. Oh sure, we had kissed hundreds of times but never like this. This was something special. Well, this made the crowd go even more nuts and Ed and I just kept on going at it until we fell to the ground.
"God guys get a room!" Tyler joked. "Hey hey now! Why don't you guys relax? We wouldn't want you to get too excited!"
"YeahI'm getting a little horny myself!" Kevin said unexpectedly. Usually Kev just laughed during these situations but surprisingly he was joining in on the fun. Oh well. Kevin deserved to have a good time.
After about a minute and a half of kissing and rubbing, Ed got up. The crowd cheered and we both bowed. Then we had to finish the show.
The rest of the set went great. The chemistry was super. Well, except for Jim. Something seemed to be bothering him but he played fine anyways. I'd talk to him later.
After the show we chatted with some fans and then made our way to the hotel. Tyler of course was stealing the show while I would crack the occasional joke. I wasn't as comfortable as Ty was when it came to discussing personal matters with strangers, one on one.
When we got to the hotel, Jim immediately announced that he was going to bed. He and Kevin were sharing a room while Ed and I were together. Tyler just sort of stayed with whoever wanted to whack-off. It seemed like that's all he ever wanted to do after shows. If no one wanted to, he'd go on the tour bus and have a little alone time.
"So what was up with Jim tonight?" Ed asked me while changing into comfier clothes.
"I don't know. He seemed unusually quiet whereas Kevin seemed unusually enthusiastic. It's almost as if they switched personalities!"
"Are you going to bed right away?"
"MmI don't know. I guess I'm tired but I don't really feel like sleeping. And I don't want to go out but I don't want to stay alone."
"Well, you wanna just hang out with me here? I'm sure we could find something to do, maybe cause some mischief" I thought for a sec. Maybe then I could tell Ed how I really felt about him. But I really did need to talk to Jim. But he said he was going to sleep anyways. I'll talk to him next chance I get.
"Yeah actually that sounds good. Sowhat should we do?"
"You want to play a prank on Ty?" Ed smiled evilly and told me the plan. See, we both knew he was jacking-off or watching porn or something so we thought we'd act on it. Sure, it'd embarrass him to hell but deep down he didn't care. So, Ed grabbed his digital camera and we went out into the cold winter night.
When we got to the bus, of course Tyler was in there. We opened the door quietly and tiptoed in. We heard rustling that we thought was Tyler but it was something a bit different. Sitting with Ty was Jim, and they were totally making out! Ed dropped his camera and just sort of looked at me. What a surprise this was!
"Oh, uh hey guys." Ty said as if nothing was going on.
"What's the situation in here?" I asked calmly.
"Uh" Tyler sort of blanked out while Jim turned red. A very awkward silence followed.
"Mm. How bout Ed and I go back to the hotel and we pretend we saw nothing?"
"Yeah, good idea." Ed and I turned to leave and made a quick escape. We ran back to the hotel as fast as possible without saying a word.
When we got back into the room, I sat down in the chair by the window while Ed sat on his bed.
"WellTHAT was interesting." Ed finally said.
"Yeah it was."
"Imagine; two of our best friendstogether!"
"Craziness." Another small bout of silence followed. "Ed?"
"Don't say it Steve. Oh god don't say what I think you're going to" Ed got up and moved towards me but ended up opposite me in another chair.
"It's just so strangeTyler I can see but Jim? It's almost surreal."
"You know, I'm not that surprised. Jim was acting strange. But so was Kev. I'm surprised that it wasn't Kevin with Ty!"
"Yeah." More silence. Ed then moved in and kissed me. I opened my eyes is surprise.
"Sorry. Got caught up in the moment" I smiled and kissed him back. We proceeded to kiss for a little bit and then we looked at each other.
"I love you Ed. I never thought I'd bring myself to say it but I just did. I've had feelings for you for quiet some time but I never thought I'd act on them."
"That's interesting because I've always had feelings for YOU."
"You're kidding!"
"Nope. I guess we were both just too shy to admit them." He then moved in and kissed me again. I laughed.
"This is kind of ironic. I mean, Jim and Ty together, you and me. What about Kevin?"
"Ha, I know. And he's the only single guy out of us all!" We both laughed for a moment and then kissed some more. After a while, we were on the bed with our clothes off. The feeling I had while we were together was awesome. I had never thought I could actually be with him. It was like a dream.
When we had finished, he fell fast asleep in my arms. But I wasn't tired. I wanted to stay with him but I just couldn't. So I put on some clothes and quietly stepped out. I looked at my watch; 11:54. Kevin couldn't be up now but I decided to see anyways.
I knocked on his door softly and surprisingly, he answered. His hair was all messed up but he was dressed as he had been before.
"Hey Steve. What are you doing here?"
"I got bored."
"Here, come in." I stepped in and sat on his bed. "So what's up?"
"Well you'll never guess what just happened?"
"What, tell me!"
"Don't get mad, but I was just with Ed"
"You finally made your move?!"
"Actually he more or less made the first move. I just helped. You're not mad are you?"
"Of course not. I always knew you loved him."
"Oh Kev thank you so much." I got up and hugged him.
"It's all right. So was he better in bed than me?"
"Not in the least my friend. He seemed more inexperienced than you."
"I guess you'll have to show him the ropes."
"Yep I guess so."

Numero Tres By who else but Ocelot Kitten
I looked around at the stage. It was so great to be with them all; my band mates. For a while I thought I'd never see them again. But now here I am, with them and loving it.
When I first met Ed it was like fireworks were going off. I loved him from the first moment I looked up into his blue eyes. But I had never told anyone about it, not even when I was on my deathbed. I always knew that Ed and Steve had a thing for each other and Steve had even come to me for advice! I couldn't back stab one of my best friends like that so I let Steve have him and just sort of stayed in a fantasy world.
After an unusually odd show, we all retired to our hotel rooms. Usually I bunked with Jim or Tyler, while Steve and Ed were always together. But tonight for some reason, we were all split up. I didn't really have a say in it, Steve made the decision and every agreed. Not that I minded. It was nice to be alone for the first time in quite a while.
I tried and tried to sleep but I just couldn't. I missed the sound of someone breathing in the next bed. I guess I had gotten used to it. So I pulled out my notebook and started to write. It wasn't a song or a letter or anything; just what I was thinking. I did this occasionally so I could find out what my feelings are while I'm on tour.
Suddenly, I heard a knock at my door. It startled me so much that my pen slipped and I ended up making the biggest L I had ever seen. I put my notebook under my bed and opened the door. It was Steve and he looked upset. What was he doing here at such an hour?
"Kevin, can I come in?" I could see that he had been crying.
"Sure." I opened the door all the way and he came rushing in. After finding a nice place in a chair, Steve looked down. "What's wrong Steve?" He sniffed back a tear.
"Ed and I had a fight."
"Oh notell me what happened."
"We're both having mixed feelings about being together andand he didn't want to be with me anymore. I don't even know why!" Steve began to cry. I went over and put my arms around him.
"Oh SteveShhit's going to be all right." He wrapped his big arms around me and I just let him cry into my shoulder.
"I love him so much. I can't bear losing him!"
"I know, I know. But listen; if this is how he wants it, you'll have to keep it that way. You can't keep him is a situation that he doesn't want to be in."
"I know. I feel so selfish for wanting to keep him all to myself."
"Don't feel that way Steven. It'll hurt for a while but you will move on. There will plenty of others for you."
"But I left my wife for him!" Oh god I thought. That's right, he had. And I know that Steve had felt awful about it.
"Maybe you can get back together with her! I'm sure she'd understand. Carolyn's a great girl; she probably still loves you."
"But what about my pride?"
"I guess you'll have to swallow it and go crawling back to her."
"You're right. Thanks Kev." He planted a small kiss on my cheek. "I'm going to go to my room and try and think what I'll say."
"It's no problem. Hey, and you never know: a great song might come out of this!" Steve chuckled and left. It felt good helping him out. I often wondered if he ever went to Tyler or Jim for advice. Well probably not Ty; he would just laugh at him for liking Ed and then tell him to go rent some porn.
I then thought about the situation. Steve and Ed broke up, Ed on the rebound. No. I just couldn't do that to Steve. It'd be like stabbing him in the chest. Plus, Ed had said he didn't want an affair. But he never said why No. I just couldn't. Maybe I could just go over and see how he's doing
I decided to throw on my shoes and visit Ed. I could just say I was bored and then coax him into being with meno, not an option. Maybe. Instead of worrying over what I would say, I just knocked on his door. I got an immediate response; almost as if he were expecting someone. I entered without a word and planted my self on the loveseat.
"What's up Kevin?"
"OhI was just bored. What's the situation with you?"
"Ah nothing. You wouldn't be interested."
"Sure I would. Spill it."
"Wellif you didn't know, uh, Steve and I have been, uh, having an affair together."
"Yeah, Steve told me."
"Oh good, I knew how much he wanted to talk to someone besides me about it. Anyways, well, we just had this big fight. It was so stupid."
"Mm hmm. So now what?"
"Well I WAS expecting him to come back to the room so we could talk a little more, but I guess he decided not to." I smiled on the inside and looked sympathetically at Ed.
"Awso is it over now?"
"I don't know. I do know that I'm very confused and I don't know what I want."
"Do you love him?" He suddenly looked up at me.
"I-I think soI mean, I've always loved him, I just don't know if I've LOVED him, ya know?"
"Yeah. Uh Ed, not to make anything more complicated, but I have a confession."
"Oh no"
"I-uhI'm in love with you. I've loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you. I'm so sorry"
"Don't be sorry. See, I always thought you had a thing for Steve! I mean, you two are always talking and stuff"
"What? Me and Steve?" I started to giggle.
"Hey don't laugh at me!"
"Sorry. It's just, I love Steve but I could never be with him."
"Thanks. Anyways, this is strange."
"Yeah, again, I'm sorry. If you think that we should just forget it, it's ok with me."
"No, no." Ed looked away for a minute. I would have killed to know what he was thinking at that moment. He then quickly moved in and laid a kiss on me. "I, uh, don't know why that happened but I had an impulse and"
"Don't explain." I then softly kissed him back. We then actually started to make out for a while. This was amazing. But at the same time, I couldn't bare to think about Steven. He should have been here instead of me. Oh well, no use wasting a good time thinking bad thoughts.
We actually proceeded to make love to each other that night. I still couldn't believe it. Living the dream and killing my best friend. It was a strange feeling. When we were done, I looked at him and could tell he was upset.
"Oh what's wrong Ed?"
"I just can't help but think about Steve"
"Me either." We both looked down.
"M-maybe we should forget this happened."
"No. We'll drop it, but we won't forget it."
"Ok. If you need to be with Steve, do it."
"I think you're right. Steve and I were meant to be. Thank you so much for understanding." He kissed me on the cheek. Wow, two cheek kisses in one night. Not bad.
"It's really no problem. I should go back to my room."
"Yeah." I stood up and threw on my pants and shirt. "Oh and Kev?"
"You know I love you."
"But of course!" And with that I quietly tip toed back to my room.
In the end, Steve and Ed reconciled and are still "together." (Jim and Ty still don't know.) Speaking of Tyler and Jim, apparently they got drunk that same night and ended up sleeping together. How do I know? Let's just say I heard some midnight noises. They don't know that I know. And me? I found a lovely gal and ended up getting over Ed. Yay! Oh, and when Steve went to go figure out what he'd say? It turned out to be our biggest selling single ever. In fact, it's still on the charts. And only I know what it's about.

"..Just cut to the fucking!" -Steven Page